Things I Used To Get Insecure About

As a teenager I didn’t have an easy time at school. Don’t get me wrong some parts where great and others not so much. It’s the time of year when I would have left school for what feels like a lifetime ago. I was quite insecure about myself back then, and it got me thinking about how much I’ve changed and become way more confident.

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  1. My size – I have always been small, in height and in figure. I don’t mind being small, I haven’t grown upwards in 6 years so I don’t think I’ll shoot up any time soon! However I have always had a small figure and at school at lot of the girls would comment on it. It wasn’t even just girls sometime adults too. They would tell me how skinny I was and that I needed to eat more. For a long time I thought they were right, so I would eat junk food in hope to get bigger. But having a high metabolism meant it didn’t really work. After school was over I realised it wasn’t okay to be told that, just because I’m skinny doesn’t mean people have the right to tell me to eat more. So I stopped fighting my metabolism and just accepted that I’m small. And in no way am I bragging about it. At school it was made out to be a bad thing and I’ve realised it’s definitely not!
  2. My boobs –  This sort of coincides with the first point. Being slim meant that my boobs would never be big. For the longest time I wished I had bigger boobs. I wanted to be able to wear tops that were low cut without feeling super conscious and like everyone was looking at me and thinking ‘Wow, look at her small boobs. How small!’ When in reality that probably wasn’t the case. I used to think that when I was older that I’d get a boob job so I wouldn’t be so self conscious. However now that a few years have passed I am no longer obsessed with having bigger boobs and I’m definitely not about to get a boob job! Plus my boobs may not be big but they certainly aren’t small any more!
  3. That I didn’t fit in – I never really had my own little group at school that I fitted into. Other than a few good years at secondary school, I struggled to find my niche. I always knew I was weird and people used to make me feel silly for saying or doing things. So I never used to do things that I would think other people would think me weird for doing.
    Now I am more comfortable in myself and I don’t particularly care if people don’t like me and I don’t fit into their niche. I have found my niche, and my blog is now part of that.
  4. That I loved Disney – Growing up Disney films/programmes were a common thing in my household. And so my room had Disney ornaments and toys and things. This was my normal and whenever I had friends come over they made me feel silly for having such things. However after years of sleepovers I came to accept that my room is my room, just because someone has an opinion on it that is different to mine doesn’t mean they have the right to make me feel silly. Especially in a place I consider my sanctuary. Even now I am happy to admit I love to watch a good Disney film!
  5. My appearance – More specifically my facial appearance. As a young/mid teen I hated my appearance. When I was younger the boys at school would make fun of how big my lips were. Then at secondary school a girl whom I thought was my friend, made a list comparing me to the other girls that she’d written in her diary. This affected me more than I care to admit when I was a teen. It’s awful that I still remember this list and what it said. But nonetheless I didn’t like looking into the mirror for too long. My brain seemed particularly good at pointing out my flaws and things I wish would change.
    But by making myself feel shitty for how I appear isn’t going to change anything, or make anything better. This is where the fascination began for makeup. I began to think more positively towards myself, because no one has the right to make me feel unworthy or ugly. Not even me.

Don’t get me wrong, sometimes I still get a little insecure about a few of these. Then I remember I don’t need to feel insecure about how I look or my boob size. I am who I am and that’s that. Thank you so much for reading, until next time.

x

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29 thoughts on “Things I Used To Get Insecure About

  1. Nicole N says:

    I love this post! I’m only 5’2, so size has been a huge insecurity in my life as well. Truly inspiring to read that someone else is embracing their insecurities!!

    Liked by 2 people

  2. helloitsjo says:

    Ahhh what an amazing post idea!!! I am exactly the same, I was still so into disney when everyone else and grown out of it and I was so embarrassed! Not only that but I’ve had small boobs all my life and it’s only been recently that I wouldn’t want them any other way! xx

    Liked by 1 person

  3. kippinsbeautyblog says:

    This was a really great post! My husband is always giving out to me for putting myself down. I am the opposite of you in that I am quite s big girl. I’d love to see myself through his eyes for 5 mins to see what he sees. All I ever see in the mirror is what’s wrong.

    Liked by 1 person

  4. PS says:

    You are so pretty! I feel that as I have become older I have learnt to accept and embrace my differences – I don’t want to look like anyone’s clone anyway 🙂

    Liked by 1 person

  5. chxrlotterose says:

    Really loved this post! It sounds silly but it’s sort of nice to know that other people feel insecure too, sometimes when I feel insecure I feel like everyone else doesn’t ever feel that way. So this post and all the comments make me realise I’m not alone 🙂 xx

    Liked by 1 person

  6. Ella May Garrett says:

    This was such a fantastic post! I am insecure about my boobs because everyone around me sometimes make comments on them and it makes me feel like I am not a total ‘woman’ like them without having bigger boobs which is just ridiculous really! xxx

    Liked by 1 person

  7. Mignon Cobra says:

    This was so heart-creakingly beautiful. I almost cried when I read the part about the girl writing that in her diary! I loved this entry. Felt so real. Thank you for putting yourself out like that.

    Liked by 1 person

  8. aannabel says:

    I see my room as my sanctuary too, I have art, posters and random things all over my walls, I love it. It has happened in the past where a friend would come into my room and tell me to take it all down… :/ it bothers me when people comment on something that’s mine and doesn’t affect them ✨ of course I told them I like it and it’s my room 💕

    Liked by 1 person

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